What silence has taught me
I recently completed a 7 day silent retreat and I wanted to reflect on some of the things I have learned and share them with you.
Sitting in silence is not very silent at all. What I have experienced is that once the noise from the outside and the incessant stimulation we are exposed to such as social media, messages in all forms and shapes, computer, TV, conversations, meetings, music, podcasts etc etc – once that stops, you can hear your thoughts loudly, very loudly. And in the first few days it was nearly unbearable. There was no escape from it, no distraction, no running away, just sitting with it, breathing and hoping that the mind will get a bit more quiet eventually. And it does, in my case after 4 days…
I never realised how the constant input I am receiving is not actually digested… it is somehow stored in an overflowing, overstimulated nervous system, which when it gets the chance, will discharge it… and that is a painful and a very uncomfortable experience. And it is one, that I believe, is also so vital for us. No wonder so many of us are burned out. Because our system cannot cope.
Once I got through the worst, I had moments, where I could feel my own rhythm like I have never felt it before. My own internal pace, rather than the pace that the external world is dictating. Knowing how that feels, when I am aligned, where my body, my feelings and my thoughts are collaborating, feels great, it’s what, I think, we call ‘being in flow’.
Being in flow requires us to listen deeply to our body, our nervous system, and observe what depletes our energy and what nourishes our energy and then take that very seriously and shape our life and how we care for ourselves accordingly.
I have emerged from the retreat with a commitment to slowing down more, listening to my own internal rhythm more and making small changes so that hopefully if I ever attend another silent retreat, I don’t have to go through quite the torturous experience that it was this time.
Specifically, here are my commitments to myself:
1. No TV to relax or switch off. Because I realised that it numbs my feelings, but it overstimulates my nervous system. So if I want to watch something in company because it is something interesting, then yes, but not in the evening to switch off, because I don’t think I actually switch off, on the contrary I think I am charging my nervous system in ways that means I sleep worse and the charge has nowhere to go.
2. Much more aware use of social media, no unconscious strolling on Instagram for hours without even noticing
3. Yoga every day
4. Meditation every day
5. Walking mediation – this is something I learned during the silent retreat and it’s amazing. Walking really slowly to feel how your entire body coordinates for every single step. Bringing awareness to your body in that way is hugely relaxing. “This is an example of a quote
What do you do to discharge and regulate your nervous system?